Thursday, October 7, 2010

Cap in hand

Remember when I said I intended this blog to be a complete and timely digest of everything I put on the internet? Those were fun, innocent days, weren't they. The fact is I'm so burnt out these days from my multitude of creative projects that it's hard to summon the energy. Today alone I have to meet my target for making ZP images, write half of next week's XP column, have a meeting with my fellow Mana Bar directors, write another two pages of the first draft of my second novel, play a decent amount of whatever game I'm reviewing next week and see if I can squeeze in some work on one of my hobby game design projects. And creative writing isn't like data entry where you just knock it out while listening to Smash Mouth on your MP3 player. My brain can only produce so much between meals and caffeine intakes.

But I've just downed my morning cappuccino so hopefully I can get it together long enough to update you on everything I should have mentioned earlier. For example, there's last week's Zero Punctuation, which was for Amnesia: Dark Descent.

Secondly, there was yesterday's Extra Punctuation, which was also for Amnesia: Dark Descent.

"Also, incidentally, Clock Tower 3 contains some of the most spastic character animations I've ever seen in a game. In some cutscenes people throw absolute fits while conversing with each other. It's like they stuck all the motion capture balls on an octopus in an electric chair."

And finally this week's ZP, which was the latest of the serially adequate Halo series, Halo Reach.

There's also something quite exciting going on at the Mana Bar soon, on Saturday the 16th. If I were to say the words 'Randy Pitchford' and the words 'CEO of Gearbox' and also the words 'demoing Duke Nukem Forever for the first time in Australia in a public venue', you might find a subtle hint somewhere in those words as to the nature of the event.


  1. Mr. Croshaw, I have to ask: did Gearox ask to demo Duke Nukem at the Mana bar (presumably to reinflate their ego after your Borderlands review), or was it the other way around?
    If you're in the telling mood, I'm sure we'd all love to know.

  2. Perhaps you should just do an EP of mail responces, let us write half of it for you, consitering that you havent actualy responded to anyones comments in an EP in... well... quite some time.

  3. Gosh, I almost feel as if posting here is intruding on your work time. I hope you get more downtime than the occasional week-long cruise.

    Very much enjoyed the Amnesia review; may snag a copy for myself, even though I don't normally go in for horror.

  4. ...Limited Edition Cortana Wank Rag... that's going to be in my head all day.

    Couldn't agree more regarding "THIS IS HOW YOU FEEL" exposition and game mechanics. Particularly Farenheit. When you see a scale that goes from Suicidal - Normal, there's really no UP is there. Kind of given away the plot there to some degree. That's the thing I hate about David Cage "I think we need more variety of emotions in video games that violence and fear" AGREED, but depression isn't an emotion.

    So to lift my mood I'm popping off now with my Cortana Wank Rag (Standard Edition), couldn't afford the limited.

  5. Sorry to hear about how you're so busy these days. I'm not exactly sure how you do it. I'd probably crack under the pressure in the first two months, but you've been going at this for almost three years now. I don't know who else could pull off such a thing.

    Hope you enjoy the Mana Bar thing.

  6. He doesn't sound that busy to ME...

    ... but then again, I'm part of the secret society of 12 people that run the world from a cave in the Galapagos Islands, so my perspective might be tainted. Haha, taint.

  7. > I'm part of the secret society of 12 people that
    > run the world from a cave in the Galapagos
    > Islands [ ... ]

    That shouldn't be too hard to find; just look for the cave with the seven or so OC-192 lines leading in to it...

  8. Duke Nukem Forever demo? Meh.
    Duke Nukem Forever demo played in close proximity to Yahtzee? Hell yeah!

  9. I keep trying to play Amnesia, but it keeps scaring me too much...

  10. I was invited to the demoing of Duke Nukem forever in London yesterday.

    I really enjoyed it, no way does it live up to 12 years of hype, but it was certainly fun and had me laughing, just like Duke Nukem 3D

  11. er why was halo: reach ok for not having cover based combat when that was ignored with; other m, bioshock 2, borderlands and alien vs. predator?

  12. Your book has still not arrived in my local bookstore.. I'm gunno buy it off Amazon..

  13. OT: Picked up a copy of Mogworld at the B&N today.

    Good read. Very amusing. A little disturbing too, but that's not bad :)

  14. @Kyoodle I think the games in question had much bigger problems. In the order you gave, my opinion of these games are, shit, average, shit, and shitty. Cover based combat or not. Go back and watch those reviews.

    To clarify,
    Other M probably should've been developed by Nintendo, the writing seems poor, especially when it comes to restricting your powerups, and hell they should probably just have made another Prime-esque game, or ignored the whole FPS aspect altogether.
    Bioshock 2, was unnecessary, made by a different studio, the multiplayer it added was entirely forgettable, and although I kind of liked the story, the original was better.
    Borderlands looked crappy from the beginning, a lot of roughly samey weapons that are liek totally unique, Diablo esque gameplay without any of the refinements, and from what I hear no reason to work together in a party. GG, not buying that PoS. Buy Torchlight instead IMO, unless you really like to pretend you're playing an FPS, or you know actually play an FPS, or better yet go play Fallout, fuck multiplayer.
    Finally, Alien vs Predator, AvP2 came out like 9 years before hand and is better in damn near every respect. GG.
    You see? Bigger problems.

    To be fair, of that list, I've only ever played Bioshock 2, and the demo of Alien vs Predator. So what the hell do I know?

  15. Yahtzee - you mentioned that you like space shooters. I haven't been a huge fan of the genre traditionally, but I've been playing one recently on my iPod Touch called Galaxy on Fire that's been quite enjoyable, even if the battles aren't generally long enough. It's been on sale/free, because they've got a sequel coming out soon.

    You don't strike me as the iPhone type, but if you've got something that can play the game, you might want to check it out. Even if you hate it, it'll be a nice, cheap hate. :)

  16. Hehe you stay busy, but I can imagine what massive mental torture playing Halo reach must be. Or rather It's attempt to entertain you whilst it brainwashes you to like it!

    I can't help but see a Forest of eboners popup everytime someone mentions Duke Nukem Forever... Why do we still care?

    Also you should put "flattr" up here, allows us to give you "a piece of our pie" as they call it.

  17. Don't think of yourself as busy. Think of it as a zen-like state of caffeinated bliss.

    Can't wait to see your Q&A with Randy Pitchford this weekend.

  18. In Halo 1, in the cut scene showing you landing on the first halo, Cortana ironically remarks on the Spartan's distaste for safety harnesses. So it's funny you point it out as well.

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  20. You don't strike me as the iPhone type, but if you've got something that can play the game, you might want to check it out. Even if you hate it, it'll be a nice, cheap hate. :)
    Zero punctuation You don't strike me as the iPhone type, but if you've got something that can play the game, you might want to check it out. Even if you hate it, it'll be a nice, cheap hate. :)

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